Matthew 7: 24-27
“24-25 Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
26-27 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”
Based on the above words of Jesus, we can deduce this lesson: “things don’t go wrong, they start wrong” – and the same, applies to relationships!
Capability is made up two words: Ability and Capacity
Ability is simply defined as an actual skill whether acquired by learning or born with as a talent, and can be a mental or a physical skill.
Capacity on the other hand is the room or the potential to nurture that ability/skill you possess.
These two words (Capacity + Ability) when married together, they form Capability. This is what makes a relationship flourish. (The Capabilities of the involved individuals).
Note: Capability can be developed where it’s unavailable, and also it can be improved – though it’s only possible through deliberate efforts and over time. So be patient while working on it.
Take a look at these areas of capabilities, to help nurture your relationship.
Capability in the form of Mindset Maturity
“Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; And she smiles at the future [knowing that she and her family are prepared] – Proverbs 31:25
This strength is not based on any external influence we possess; such as Money, clothes, supercars, mansions, etc. rather, the strength spoken of, is an inward one.
For men, this type of strength is defined as “Raw Masculine power”. It’s displayed on instances such as How you handle shortcomings, how you make her feel secure while you are around her?
Where she lacks, the man can compensate. Where there’s fear – the other can reassure; even if they haven’t figured out a way yet!
The inward strength is accessed by letting go of external factors that you think are significant and bringing out your uniqueness as a man. It’s based on your mind.
Train your mind to pursue uniqueness. Base your strength on, courage, integrity and comfortability to handle anything that comes your way; and not materialistic things.
In your relationship, help your spouse to see circumstances and reason them not out of feelings, but logically. That type of mindset will ready your relationship to approach any challenges and hardships ahead.
Capability in the form of Emotional Maturity
For a healthy relationship, emotional intelligence is a must-have.
Emotional Intelligence is the ability for you to control and express your feelings in a healthy manner. So, how do you build up emotional intelligence? Well, these areas will work for you:
Mutual respect – Anything less respect, ain’t worth it. Appreciate the other person’s achievements and always let them know of it verbally and through actions.
Share – think and talk in terms of “We” not “I”. Seek to grow a friendship that depends on both of you. Do activities that encourage your friendship. Explore your common interests and stay connected through such.
Evaluate your relationship goals – what purpose do they serve? what’s their meaning to both of you? How do they motivate you? what are you doing to help each other achieve their side of these goals? Are you feeling good about where you’re heading?
Communication – When a conversation starts harshly, the outcome, in the end, is chaos and no solution. When talking don’t express yourself in a manner that suggests contempt, instead express your honest thoughts and concerns with the aim of finding a common ground.
Also, listen and understand the other person’s position on any argument, instead of conflicting, allow yourselves to compromise a little for the other.
Capability in the form of Atomical/Physical Maturity
When a boy or a girl in an adult body tries to do what grown-ups do, they crush in the end. Why? A child doesn’t have the capacity to handle the pressure that comes with such responsibilities.
Create boundaries to help you deal with your relationship. Don’t make room for any affair to happen. For instance, when talking to other men and women; both of you ought to know where the conversation is leading towards. Don’t get carried away by forces that have the power to do so.
Mind the way you dress and how you address others. Revealing too much that makes others think of you inappropriately. This might put you in a tight spot.
Don’t fall in love, instead, Step into Love. Maturity in a relationship is displayed by easy love. Not obsessive dramatized preconceived notions. Out of love, everything works out at its own pace, don’t impose timelines or conditions.
Got an argument? Don’t fight via texting. Get to have a face-to-face and square it out naturally. Talk it out physically. Let your arguments be directed towards productivity.
Look beyond the past. We all have a past. some of these are wicked and defined as mistakes. When you truly love someone, don’t call out their past and use it against them; look beyond such pasts and work together towards a better future